Friday, July 23, 2010

This is Joe Baker for Farmer's Ford...

As previously reported, I at one time fancied myself a political satirist, humorist, wanna-be stand up far back as I can remember. When I stopped performing, I continued to write and produce comedy. Perhaps someday, I might return to the stage...but for now, I'm still trying to get my writer's hat back on...and it's not like I was never well versed in the art. On the contrary, my editorial "Dinner with the Average American Family," remains a cult classic. Even my send up on stand up, "Right on Ronnie Reagonowitz," received acclaim. But, one gem from the past remains one of my favorites. I wrote it back in the 70's, and no, it never saw the light of day on live radio (although I did produce it for campus radio play)...I'm talking about, of course, Farmer's Ford in Albatross.

I wrote this slab of satire as a tribute, well, sort of a back-handed tribute, to my college town's local Ford dealership. They had been receiving a lot of local bad press because of their lack of customer satisfaction...and it certainly didn't help matters when the "Edsel of the Decade," the Ford Pinto, began exploding indiscriminately. No, it definitely wasn't a good time to be a Ford dealer. And yes, it also made the piece much easier to write and compose because I, yes me, MediaCopp, was one of the idiots who actually bought a Ford Pinto during the 70's.

No, the car never exploded...although many times I wish it had...I remember it was a funny looking little car, and I also remember it had a proclivity for blowing head gaskets. So I went in, and complained, and wrote letters, and telephoned...then I even contacted Detroit, calling and sending numerous letters of complaint, all to no avail. Hence the birth of Joe Baker. Joe was the radio spokesperson/altar ego who represented Farmer's Ford, formerly Canary Ford. If I recall, the local Ford dealer was Eagle Ford, owned and operated by some guy named (John) Eagle. He, I suppose, got tired of the bad press and decided to do something about it. No, he didn't offer rebates, refunds, or special promotions. He hired/took on a professional golfer as a new business partner and changed the name of his dealership from "Eagle Ford" to "Fairway Ford." That's it!

So I wrote and produced this gem...and yes, there is a phantom copy (or two) of it out there somewhere, so hopefully, I might find a copy of it someday. With that said, here's the script:

"This is Joe Baker, for Farmer's Ford in Albatross...and are we dealing!! We
must get rid of all our old stock to make room for the new 1977 and a half
models. Farmer's Ford, formerly Canary Ford, has NOT ONLY changed our
name and kept our old staff to generate new business, but also to print new
stationary. Just take a look at these deals...

A 1974 Pinto Runabout in top shape...has all the extras such as seats,
dashboard, and bumpers...for only $4499.00...and look at this one...

A 1976 Granada with a vinyl top...WOW...only $8499.00...

Folks, come on into the new Farmer's Ford, the country dealer...don't let
all the law suits against the old Canary Ford chase you away...come on in
and let Mr. Canary prove that we are ALL subject to prior sale."

Like I said, the commercial was never aired...oh well, just as well. I don't think the world was quite ready for MediaCopp in those days. But now? Well, how about a campaign commercial for the ALL NEW Republicrat party...I mean, is it a tax...or a mandate? Is a "stimulus" only a "stimulus" if the money comes from us, via taxes or tax cuts? Come on in and let Mr. Obama prove that it's "either," or "neither,"...taxpayers subject to additional assessments...

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