Monday, June 4, 2012

I'm...what's the word, yeah, ambivalent...

So, yeah, I guess I've mentioned my youngest daughter, Courtney, will be graduating from high school too-morrow...and yes, I'm very proud...and very happy for her...and she is proud as well, AND, deserves to be. But, since this blog is all about me (yeah, right), I must comment.

I've been  involved in my daughter's scholastic pursuits, only in as much as she's allowed (lately) and I believe that's the way it should be. She'll turn 18 next month and deserves to steer her own ship, so to speak, as much as possible. She's a great kid, gets good grades, plays competitive softball, but more importantly, she is a FANTASTIC human being.

This blog originated in November '08, when I (nationally) saw the writing on the wall and retired from Sacramento County, specifically with the Probation Department, where I spent the majority of my law enforcement career. There were a few brief moments with other agencies, including police/sheriff's departments; however, if I wanted to "change careers," I needed to retire from the agency where all my retirement years/dollars had eventually landed.

"Huh, what the hell does that mean." Ah, Buck, you're back...missed ya buddy! Well, another thing I did was spend the last few years, prior to my career change, buying time...not biding time, I actually WAS working...but buying time, buy-back time, reciprocal time, you name it. I ended up with about 26 or so years.

Why? Well, back to the action...I wanted to be there for my daughter and make sure she could do all the things she wanted to do in high school. Lord knows in California, every bit of advocacy helps. I was there to make sure she got to and from school...and to or from appointments, softball practices, even tutoring (for SAT's, etc)...she deserved it. Plus, my knees were shot and I couldn't continue in law enforcement any longer...AND I didn't have a worker's comp doctor to file a claim for what I DO consider a work-related disability.

So where's the ambivalence? Like I said, I retired, er, I mean changed careers. I saw the writing on the wall. No raises or promotions in the future...and truth be told, it looked (and still does) as though achievement is going to be further stigmatized AND this country anyway. Now, the I "return" to work (actually, I have been busy "working" bingo and other non-profit venues for the benefit of my daughter's softball, but my wife doesn't call that working)...or do I opt to continue the quote-unquote "career change?" Remember, my daughter's off to college (now)...

My plan had always been to earn the right to "change careers" on my timetable...and yes, it was hastened a bit by the (hope and) changing political times in the country...and because of my desire to help my daughter...but do I continue to pursue what makes ME happy...writing, performing (in a sense), and opining my way through this phase of my life...or do I back down...again? Stay tuned...

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